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Languages of Love


By Birgitte Agersnap

Secret, romantic languages enabled lovers to express what was on their mind, but impossible to reveal freely and openly because of the moral concepts of the time.


Glove Language
Many secret languages were connected to social occasions and they functioned as a kind of game and an accepted form of flirt. One of them was the glove language, natural at a time when gloves were an indispensable part of a woman’s attire. By holding her gloves in certain ways a woman could signalize her interest in someone – or ask him to stay away. The young man had to be attentive. If the girl was smoothing her gloves, she would want to talk to him. If, on the other hand, she turned the wrong side outward, he would be wise to keep away as in that way she was saying "I hate you".

Fan Language
The fan, which was also a part of a woman’s outfit, was another suitable tool for flirting, wordless games and erotic coquetry when it had to conceal or reveal a woman’s neckline. Fan language became a rather subtle language which became widespread in large parts of Europe. How to e.g. send a kiss by a fan was written down for the first time in Spain in the 18th century. Later the language appeared in France and England in books which were often given to you when you bought an expensive fan. Although the most sophisticated use was only known in the upper-classes, most women owned at least one fan around 1910. After this time the fan started to disappear from the fashion plate little by little – perhaps concurrently with the gradual softening of the rules of society.

Flower Language
"Take courage! It will end well". This is the comforting message of the pigeon’s grass – and "My yearning is giving me away" are the inciting words of the plain hyacinth. Different flowers have established symbolic messages. It was a graceful way of expressing feelings without causing offence. The flower language became really popular in the Nordic countries about 1800. As a language of love the flower language has had a renaissance within the last decades: We are again being encouraged to "say it with flowers".


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